cones on my feet...

I used to have beautiful feet_i still have hope of having beautiful feet.Anybody know a doctor cones? No, seriously my feet are lovely,thanks be to God but time in shoes i'd rather not be wearing has had a field day on my feminine toes. I have a pink pair of those ballet like shoes in vogue and a pair of brown boots that were not taught how to treat a woman well. I love these shoes.They know how to compliment my style with such ease.They make my clothes feel right but does anyone know what I have to give up to look good.My feet are fading away. Aren't they supposed to be blooming from strength to strength. I mean all things about me are supposed to get better, grow from glory to glory but my feet are slowly dying and poor me has a problem letting go of my deadly shoes.
The truth is that when I try to hold on to my dear life, trying to control and save for myself whatever I think I love, I lose it.When I give it to His care, I gain it.I have tried to hold onto a relationship gone wrong before, tried to make money without the kingdom principle_ seek ye first..._tried in my own strength and wisdom to straighten some crooked things in my family( by the way, I have the most beautiful family on planet earth)and before long I realised life was having its joke on me.It's frustrating. A chasing of the wind.I was busy trying to master it yet life had been around long enough to turn tables on me and master me instead.Now I cannot help me, got to let go and let God.Abandoning myself to trusting Him, casting aside the cares of this life and simply trusting_
I love experience.Anything to be there, be involved.It maybe a rainy day and I have to walk through the muddy roads of Bwaise to my humble abode, i will take in every moment for the awesome sake of experience.I have discovered that the exposure is good for the growth of one's mind.I tried to play games with the world, tried to align my ways to its values but in so doing I was losing myself.So now I limit my experience to gaining in faith so I can live.It is written that a spirit without self control is like a city without walls so in learning discipline am weighing daily life's proposals to my soul, its offers and presentations to the eyes of my heart,the things my soul thinks she loves that are slowly fading my feet away, killing their God given beauty with cones, making them ugly with those do-not-wear-open-shoes, sandles-off-the-list type of cones, so void of both color and sensitivity.Cones!I need to let go of those two pairs of shoes. It's not as if I cannot find me a stylish fit that would say yes to my style, say yes to my clothes.
Cones on my feet. Could be worse...say for instance cones on my heart, my life , my spirit, my soul_
Get rid of 'em ill fitting shoes...

Luke 9:24 and 25, 'For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it.
For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and is himself lost?'

my carnal view...

Writer's block not writer's nook.Somehow I cannot really write whatever that means. Is it fair Lord for life to keep going on when my hope of having finally nailed 'Isaac' has come to a standstill_no actually taken a detour.The world should have come to a halt.At least for a second. Am becky...hello?!*?
I thought this was going to be love. Fine I had not been swept off my feet but I had resigned myself to believing it would grow, bloom like the flowers in the field in due season.
So this guy is not 'Isaac'. I was so very ready to walk into his world and have us share our emotional space on earth,our physical space on a forever kind of basis.Share our all things as far as the world would let us, would allow us to. And yesterday I was expecting him to knock at my door anytime. Now in a space of only 48 hours and my mind is on the other side of the sea. For a reason as uncomplicated as words themselves am so totally convinced it could never be, could never have been. What a horrible mistake for me to have thought, for me to have dreamed, to have wished and imagined what would have been. And still the world turns on its course.Am supposed to be shattered , aren't I? Heartbroken atleast, sullen and here I am moving on with such grace as the globe does its thing around the orbit without even much of a glance my heart's way...
How much longer will I wait for love. It's like being hungry and watching for your food to come to a boil. It never cooks.
In what hour, what moment does your heart fall for one of our other counterparts with whom we share this earth, this world. When will that ordinary prince steal my heart.
Am taking my glance, my eyes off you love...because when I look at you, you elude me. You play games with my sight and confuse me. Am taking my eyes off you so you can find me. This time mathematics says you will look for me. This equation had better add up or biochemistry will prove to be much simpler than 1 + 1.

Songs of Solomon 2:7...I charge you daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the does of the field. Do not awaken love until it so desires...

Chris Rice wonders when it all happened,I wonder when it will happen? i love his lyrics.
When Did You Fall


When Did You Fall
Chris Rice

You're all smiles and silly conversation
As if this sunny day came just for you
You twist your hair, you smile, and you turn your eyes away
C’mon, tell me what’s right with you
Now it dawns on me probably everybody’s talkin’
And there’s something here I’m supposed to realize
‘Cause your secret’s out, and the universe laughs at its joke on me
I just caught it in your eyes, it’s a beautiful surprise

When did you fall in love with me?
Was it out of the blue
‘Cause I swear I never knew it
When did you let your heart run free?
Have you been waiting long?
When did you fall in love with me?
When did you fall in love?

Make your way over here, sit down by this fool, and let’s rewind
C’mon, let’s go back and replay all our scenes
You can point out the hints, the clues, the twists and the smiles this time
All the ones that slipped by me
I bet my face is red, and you can hear my heart poundin’
Well I guess it don’t matter now that I realize
‘Cause baby I missed it then, but I can surely see you now
Right here before my eyes

Love note to my King…

If I did nothing else in the next few years of my life. If I did nothing else in the next 80 years of my life but had faith in You.That word. Faith! If I saw nothing Lord, nothing else with my naked eye and allowed myself the madness of not interpreting things as I see them.If I took nothing as it is God and simply believed You, Your Word, You, Your promises. If my sole purpose in the next few years of my fragile life were to take You by Your word, walk every other day, every other moment, take every other breath looking only to what You have said. Saw nothing that was to come through the eyes of my silly assumptions but only looking at You, for my next breath, for my happiness, for my safety, for my heart’s desires, for each and all other details;the past, the present and this seemingly long and unpredictable path before me, for my heart’s desires that You O God are able to satisfy as with a choice meal, for strength Lord, for all things.Making sense of it all from Your perspective. Looking beyond my abilities, my own strength, my accomplishments, my past successes and ofcourse my limitations.If I did nothing else but hope in You alone for things I cannot see….If I did nothing else on earth but believed You, believe in You Jesus so that the things which I am yet to see will have been made by things which are not visible. If I closed my eyes to all other voices , all known things and my only anchor to sanity is my knowledge of Your ability to save me, to help me, to carry me on, to take my hand, to love me Selflessly each day and also a faith as small as a mustard seed that I have in You. If all I ever did as I journey the rest of this path ahead of me was hold on to the surpassing knowledge i find daily in Christ...
To wake up each day expecting a miracle simply because You are, take my next breath with thanks giving knowing that it is well because You gave Your son, Your Word, and so why won’t You freely give all other things? Make sense of all else...
Learning to live in gratitude even when troubled at all sides knowing that You are not just all knowing but You do give a hoot, a big hoot...
Seeing the miracle, the wonder of every other breath You have allowed me to take…
If I did nothing else but believe You in these remaining few years of my life, that just maybe all i might ever need to do.
If that will please You Jesus...

…. by faith Enoch was taken away so that he did not see death, ‘and was not found because God had taken him, for before he was taken he had this testimony, that he had pleased God.
……..for our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal Glory that far outweighs them all

Ask and you will receive...

I have learned that I lose nothing by asking…and so I ask. I ask for daily strength, for forgiveness when I get off the highway, for strength when I don’t feel like going on, for the meaning of purpose to be revealed to my being, for what it means for riches and all its partners to follow me, for bigger dreams and the art of writing to be elevated in me, , for shoes that will match my pink blouse, for stationery to write my thoughts, for grace in speech, for sight to see the fun in life, for wisdom and boldness and money and for the salon girl to do my hair right, for that givenchy perfume, for favor before my bosses, for excellence in the gift of speech and knowledge, for the ………I ask for everything.
I have learned that I lose nothing by believing, by hoping, rather to die hoping than live in a faithless world, I have learned that I lose nothing by looking further, finding out, seeking, exploring, wanting to know more and see for myself what Abraham saw and what the 12 disciples experienced, what they touched and heard and lived with….
I have learned that I lose nothing by learning diligence, by taking on good habits, and by knowing that I can do this all over again if only to do it right this time….
And so I ask, for everything, for I lose nothing by asking for directions……..

James 4:2 ...Yet you do not have because you do not ask.