Naked and Unafraid...

Is there such a thing Lord as having the layers off that onion without the onion shying off or without the onion being uncomfortable about what others see. Such a thing as the world seeing you as you truly are; your open self, blind spots, hidden self and that which is yet to be discovered of you without judging you , making scores of you, eliminating you, worse still eluding you. Such a good damn thing as seeing all the uglies, telling you about them in a way that judges not the onion but the sort of way that says 'hey, i know who you truly are; intelligent however proud, funny yet foolish , graceful yet inconsistent with plans, firm yet rude. And i know too that you know that i know and i too have the good and them flaws and we both know that we have areas that need to be worked on but guess what? I love you just the same and let the naked you and the naked me not keep us away from playing this music and dancing to the rythm of living. Let it not stop us from acheiving both our individual and common goals and so help each other along the way. let the nakedness not stop us from loving and laughing the genuine laugh or smiling from within . Let it not keep us behind closed doors and or masked faces. Let it not steal the truth away, what is noble and honest and lovely and praiseworthy because its true of we really are.

Let knowing me and knowing you and knowing us and knowing that we both are aware of our good, bad and ugly journey us on.That we are at a point where we dont keep that truth behind glares of the évil eye'but genuinely éven' talk about it, sing about the transformation that will one day come of it. let our nakedness not keep us away from sanity , from love , true love and respect and integrity. Let us know that we are all from dust and are journeying on still to a path cleaner, a dawn newer, a day clearer, and that even as we journey on incomplete, for we have all fallen short, we will one day stand before Him complete.

let us rid ourselves of the burden of ''putting up a front'', the cost that comes with being double faced because we are so afraid of the world's scores and ratings that so loudly speak. Shed off the layers without worry and hope for love's embrace, hope for love's sweet voice that says its okay, i love you as you are and inspite of your flaws and my flaws we will still walk the extra miles and celebrate life while at it, we will take this dance and listen for the clicking of glass to glass that toasts to life and its lyrics. That says I love you and I will not judge you; and that goes on to say, the spunk in my eye may be bigger than the ''speck'' in yours. That we can work this out, 'work out life's puzzle of humanity living together in harmony; living in this life with our ugly differences and acheiving a common goal, a good goal.

Tell me that I can be naked and unafraid. That I can tell you about how i just messed up without being afraid of you refusing to take my hand again, to still be free and true to me and walk with me to the final mile of living. That the very way i can stand before Christ naked yet loved, loved in a way that makes me want to change, to get better is the very same way that i can stand before you my brother, my sister my friend, knowing that we are all not there yet. That broken we all face the same dare of having fallen from grace and yet now and again, now and forever rise up again...

That life's embrace will be warm and not cruel, that I can trust you my neigbour my friend to take another dance with me , knowing all of me and yet give it your very all....

For we have all fallen short of the glory of God ....yet one day we will stand before Him complete for He is able to present us Holy and blameless before the throne...

...and still we have the remaining debt to love one another ....

For greater is He....

is there anything that challenges You my God? A character, a life, a personality or would that be blasphemy? Maybe not. Maybe it would be pure bliss for You instead! Pure bliss knowing that the person I consider to be a challenge is Yours and the enemy is in for yet another defeat.

Seems like its been ages since my last post. Have I missed blogging, Oh yes! Have I come with any news...Ha. That will depend on what you consider as news but during my silent journey i have had alot of experiences, some great others painful but all worth it.

........will be keeping you posted on what my mind will allow me to share with planet earth and to every good reader and ready writer, enjoy the awesome gift of words.

To be patient, to wait....

To wait for the petals to unfold, for the morning to come and the tears to stop running down your nose. To wait for a loved one to come to, to wake up and know that God really cares, to finally see the Light and know that Jesus is the true Messiah. To be liberated, and to be freed to laugh and cry at same time , not out of pain but out of the joy of a forgiven soul.Out of the great light that fades the dark away.
To wait for your children to grow up and see things as you see them,for your team to buy the vision , for your flock to see where you see.
To wait for your friend to bear fruit, the kind of fruit that lasts, the fruit that is gentle and kind and loving even as you bear fruit yourself;as all of you, being siblings in Christ journey to become better people. Becoming more like Christ with each step. Not fighting from misunderstanding the transformation within or the paths that so crooked look but smiling ,knowing that inspite of all that does not make sense , God is doing a beautiful piece of work in side the souls of this great body and that one day we will all stand before Him complete.
Waiting still, patiently for a dream to unfold and desire to be fufilled. For an answer to a prayer journeyed long. For the rain to finally fall and the food to come to a boil.
Waiting for the time when understanding and wisdom will fill our roads and the light will shine forth through every hole, every window, every door.
For the storm to be silent and the dust to settle. For time to move and keep moving and keep moving and for faith to stand even as time moves....
To wait and be patient and when finally His plans unfold in their own untold time; even as you still wait for the Master to tap your shoulder and beauty says yes, and in all things victory is on your side....To wait and wait as at the Lord's feet...
To be patient and know that in having learned to wait for these things that will fade away , eagerly you learn to watch daily at heaven's doors for Him to come again and take you home into eternity where you will wait no more...

for patience is a fruit of the Precious Holy Spirit and to wait is to bear it.....be patient in affliction.

You Are A great Read.....

Father good evening. I hope you are very well.I was doing some thinking right now. Don't You dislike the way I look at me sometimes? I just thought how mine is a little story among many stories,some great others awesome.Teach me to look at me through Your beautiful eyes.How could I possibly think that my love story is a little story. If You think and I know You do that when You had me on that creation bed You thought I was,still is a MasterPiece then so is the story am living, so are the words I write out on the pages of my life as I breathe,walk,interact,laugh, eat , cry. Lord remind me that each day , whether it is my love life or my work life, my family whatever Lord that am such a great REaD simply because You wrote.You wrote and delivered me in love, You delighted in creating me and You are glad that I Know You. I was written in love on that creation bed , sculptured , molded perfectly; knit carefully and beautifully in my mother's womb , thought of and meditated upon before I took form. Ushered into beauty, spoken of in eternity from everlasting to everlasting to be a part of Your flawless design. I love you Lord...

Psalms 139

Even in pain, Be Thou My God!

its been a long time i wrote.i have missed words but for some strange reason they eluded me but here i am once again, i find solace in the beauty of words so am back to this place of beauty, writing.i woke up today before the Father because am trying to find if at all any beauty in pain.Perhaps it is the way it so draws us to the throne room... "Father "I asked, "Be my God when love walks awayand something deep on the inside of me wants to cry, be my God. When i long for darkness to hide my shame, hide my tears, cover my nakedness. Be my God. When the tears keep coming and the pain will not go away. When i fail to look past the dark cloud and my limbs are faint. Good Lord Father my soul. When inside me i crumble and fold from broken hopes and fallen fantasies, when my eyes fail to see the light.When loving somebody else becomes painful, even then be thou my God, my Redeemer, my Hope, my Strength.Lord be my God in this moment when it is sad to feel unloved, to give and not be received, in this mooment of tears and all BE NOW MY GOD."
"Father I need to see beyond these tears," I cried! "I need to look beyond this storm within. I want, I need to hear you clear,for something in the inside of me screams that this is not worth my tears. Help me wake up from this stupor. Help me get up from this slumber. Help me lift my eyes to You my Maker. Help me live joyfully before You once again. Help me let go and let You. I need to overcome, I need another mile....In this beautiful and painful moment, Be Now My God! Thank You Lord."

......even thou I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for You Are With Me....

cones on my feet...

I used to have beautiful feet_i still have hope of having beautiful feet.Anybody know a doctor cones? No, seriously my feet are lovely,thanks be to God but time in shoes i'd rather not be wearing has had a field day on my feminine toes. I have a pink pair of those ballet like shoes in vogue and a pair of brown boots that were not taught how to treat a woman well. I love these shoes.They know how to compliment my style with such ease.They make my clothes feel right but does anyone know what I have to give up to look good.My feet are fading away. Aren't they supposed to be blooming from strength to strength. I mean all things about me are supposed to get better, grow from glory to glory but my feet are slowly dying and poor me has a problem letting go of my deadly shoes.
The truth is that when I try to hold on to my dear life, trying to control and save for myself whatever I think I love, I lose it.When I give it to His care, I gain it.I have tried to hold onto a relationship gone wrong before, tried to make money without the kingdom principle_ seek ye first..._tried in my own strength and wisdom to straighten some crooked things in my family( by the way, I have the most beautiful family on planet earth)and before long I realised life was having its joke on me.It's frustrating. A chasing of the wind.I was busy trying to master it yet life had been around long enough to turn tables on me and master me instead.Now I cannot help me, got to let go and let God.Abandoning myself to trusting Him, casting aside the cares of this life and simply trusting_
I love experience.Anything to be there, be involved.It maybe a rainy day and I have to walk through the muddy roads of Bwaise to my humble abode, i will take in every moment for the awesome sake of experience.I have discovered that the exposure is good for the growth of one's mind.I tried to play games with the world, tried to align my ways to its values but in so doing I was losing myself.So now I limit my experience to gaining in faith so I can live.It is written that a spirit without self control is like a city without walls so in learning discipline am weighing daily life's proposals to my soul, its offers and presentations to the eyes of my heart,the things my soul thinks she loves that are slowly fading my feet away, killing their God given beauty with cones, making them ugly with those do-not-wear-open-shoes, sandles-off-the-list type of cones, so void of both color and sensitivity.Cones!I need to let go of those two pairs of shoes. It's not as if I cannot find me a stylish fit that would say yes to my style, say yes to my clothes.
Cones on my feet. Could be worse...say for instance cones on my heart, my life , my spirit, my soul_
Get rid of 'em ill fitting shoes...

Luke 9:24 and 25, 'For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it.
For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and is himself lost?'

my carnal view...

Writer's block not writer's nook.Somehow I cannot really write whatever that means. Is it fair Lord for life to keep going on when my hope of having finally nailed 'Isaac' has come to a standstill_no actually taken a detour.The world should have come to a halt.At least for a second. Am becky...hello?!*?
I thought this was going to be love. Fine I had not been swept off my feet but I had resigned myself to believing it would grow, bloom like the flowers in the field in due season.
So this guy is not 'Isaac'. I was so very ready to walk into his world and have us share our emotional space on earth,our physical space on a forever kind of basis.Share our all things as far as the world would let us, would allow us to. And yesterday I was expecting him to knock at my door anytime. Now in a space of only 48 hours and my mind is on the other side of the sea. For a reason as uncomplicated as words themselves am so totally convinced it could never be, could never have been. What a horrible mistake for me to have thought, for me to have dreamed, to have wished and imagined what would have been. And still the world turns on its course.Am supposed to be shattered , aren't I? Heartbroken atleast, sullen and here I am moving on with such grace as the globe does its thing around the orbit without even much of a glance my heart's way...
How much longer will I wait for love. It's like being hungry and watching for your food to come to a boil. It never cooks.
In what hour, what moment does your heart fall for one of our other counterparts with whom we share this earth, this world. When will that ordinary prince steal my heart.
Am taking my glance, my eyes off you love...because when I look at you, you elude me. You play games with my sight and confuse me. Am taking my eyes off you so you can find me. This time mathematics says you will look for me. This equation had better add up or biochemistry will prove to be much simpler than 1 + 1.

Songs of Solomon 2:7...I charge you daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the does of the field. Do not awaken love until it so desires...

Chris Rice wonders when it all happened,I wonder when it will happen? i love his lyrics.
When Did You Fall


When Did You Fall
Chris Rice

You're all smiles and silly conversation
As if this sunny day came just for you
You twist your hair, you smile, and you turn your eyes away
C’mon, tell me what’s right with you
Now it dawns on me probably everybody’s talkin’
And there’s something here I’m supposed to realize
‘Cause your secret’s out, and the universe laughs at its joke on me
I just caught it in your eyes, it’s a beautiful surprise

When did you fall in love with me?
Was it out of the blue
‘Cause I swear I never knew it
When did you let your heart run free?
Have you been waiting long?
When did you fall in love with me?
When did you fall in love?

Make your way over here, sit down by this fool, and let’s rewind
C’mon, let’s go back and replay all our scenes
You can point out the hints, the clues, the twists and the smiles this time
All the ones that slipped by me
I bet my face is red, and you can hear my heart poundin’
Well I guess it don’t matter now that I realize
‘Cause baby I missed it then, but I can surely see you now
Right here before my eyes